Author: Anne Hamilton

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Monday, December 28th, 2020 at 12:12 pm
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Fiction Five

Bonus Day – Recipes for Life

RECIPE FOR A DEEP SIGH OF RELIEF

Ingredients

1 cosy coat or jumper

1 pair of sturdy walking or running shoes depending on speed required

Money – various coins and notes

Car keys optional

1 bag

Method

Depending on the weather, place yourself inside the coat or jumper. Put on a pair of appropriate shoes, make sure you’ve got your money to hand, and take your car keys (if using).

Head off to the nearest local shop that has a decent choice of goodies

On returning with your chosen products, place in the freezer immediately, allowing about 15 mins for a decent chill to set in and the magic to happen

Wait. Give it 5 more minutes for a superior crunch

In the meantime, put the kettle on and place one teabag in a large mug. When the water has boiled, pour over the teabag, squeeze, stir then allow it to stew to your taste before discarding. Add a splash of milk if using and stir again

Remove the delicious chocolate bar from the freezer, slide off the wrapper and place in a bowl.

Tip:  to break up into bit size chunks slap the bar swiftly down on the worktop before removing the wrapper.

Take a seat on the sofa with your mug and bowl of loveliness to hand and enjoy.

Romy Ritchie

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RECIPE FOR KINDESS

Ingredients 

2 sprigs of smiles 

3 teaspoons of laughter

5 dessert spoons of hugs

Pinch of squeeze tightly 

1 gentle touch

1/4 kindness 

Method

Place inside your heart 

The smiles and laughter

Blend in the hugs and squeeze tightly 

Pour the gentle touch in the centre 

Mix together

Sprinkle with kindness and share

Frances McCann

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RECIPE FOR A COMPANION IN SOCIAL ISOLATION

Ingredients

An outboard motor

12 small and very sharp Sabatier kitchen knives

1 mousetrap

1 small sheet of sandpaper

5 kilos of bloody-mindedness

Heaped tablespoon of foolhardy curiosity

Furry covering

Night vision

Pinch of je ne sais quoi

Method

Assemble carefully, especially the knives and mousetrap

Leave outboard motor running.

Slightly soak and heat sandpaper before stroking on your skin.

Leave on lap for an episode of Eastenders.

Congratulations, you’ve made a cat!

Amanda Roy

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RECIPE FOR MOVING HOUSE

Ingredients

One new home

A tablespoon of estate agent

A large hunk of man with a white van and an easy going mate

A week off work

Five good friends

40 cardboard boxes

All your worldly goods

30 takeaways of assorted type: burgers, Chinese, curry etc

Six crates of beer

Five large buckets of wine (for friends, plus extra for self)

Method

1 Ply friends with wine and a takeaway one night. Tell them you need assistance to move. When they are plastered they won’t say no.

2 Add your best friend to the house/flat hunting mixture. When you have located your dream pad progress onto step 3

3 Sieve your worldly goods. Add to the packing cases.

4 Bribe the hunk with beer and curry and lure him to your lair. He won’t be able to resist your junk food advances. Add him to the mixture. Throw in his pal for good measure.

5 Add a pinch of estate agent (reserve the rest for later)

6 Sift a sob story to your boss for time off work. Something about ‘women’s issues’ or your sick cat,  should do it, with no questions asked.

7 Add everything into the bowl (men, van, rest of the estate agent, friends, boxes, furniture, beer, wine, takeaways) Stir vigorously.

8 Bake at a nice even temperature for a whole sunny day

Liz Power

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